Oh So Cosmo is Oh So Revolting

There’s a new station on television, and when you see the profusion of pink you’ll likely recognize it. Its Cosmopolitan TV. Yes, the magazine that has filled young women’s heads with vital information such as so called sex, fashion, beauty, and health tips is now available 24 hours at the flick of a button. I admit that I have watched the channel on occasion (out of devotion to one show), but I personally think that this is a large step backwards for women’s self esteem and independence.

For example, I sat down one afternoon to witness a Sex and the City marathon, free of long commercials and uncensored content (a blessing that should not be underestimated for any avid fans of the show) and during program breaks all I see is images of the stereotypically perfect woman. She is always thin and Caucasian, with flawless cosmetics, hair and shoes, and she is being kissed by the example of the ideal, muscular, stylish man. The images of men are also strikingly similar to advertisements one would see promoting commodities. They seem showcased as fetish objects in fast, glossy images to be sought after. Is this a beneficial image to repeatedly thrust at young women? Either be the unattainably perfect woman, or lust after the male equivalent.

I have also witnessed wonderfully helpful tips that make me question the reality of what I am seeing. Fun facts like “Men who attend college are 70% less likely to have commitment issues later on in life.” My reaction is either to stare in blank disbelief, or wonder aloud to the heavens, “Who the hell comes up with these unbelievable facts and figures?” Information that is, without a doubt, indispensable to women when selecting a future mate. There are also polls. Oh, and believe me, these do not fail to disappoint in the nausea department either. For example: Bikini Bottoms that show a little cheek are, A) Cheeky or B) Skanky. How original. This is indeed a topic that will stimulate intelligent discussion and debate at slumber parties across the globe.

Although lovers of the magazine may be overjoyed that Canada introduced CosmoTV to our airwaves in early 2008, the pink programming seems fluffy and seems to lack significant content. CosmoTV has achieved televising an endless stream of girlish gossip that festers in the pages of their magazine and somehow seems far more disturbing when communicated through the mouths of vapid television hosts. The scary part is that Cosmo’s message now reaches a much larger audience of girls that may never know any better.

An example of this is the cherry on the cake, the program, Oh So Cosmo. It’s hosted by Josie Dye, who gives me violent urges whenever I’ve suffered the unfortunate experience of forgetting to change the channel after my previous show has ended. Here’s an excerpt from Cosmo’s website, which explains what the show offers to women:

“Oh So Cosmo stands apart from 'other' girl-centric reality magazine shows by providing hip, urban women with fun, useful information on sex and relationships plus news on what’s hot in pop culture and entertainment...just what fun, fearless females need to know.”

Yes, and what women really need to know is whether “he’s really that into me”, or should I get into a relationship at work” or the all important, “do these shoes match this outfit?!” Wow, watching these mind-sucking programs really shows how far some women have come in their quest to gain integrity and respect for their opinions. If girls grow up absorbing these magical tidbits of Cosmo-inspired life wisdom then I seriously fear for the future of young women’s piece of mind.

Here’s a synopsis for an episode that aired on June 26th:
Today on Oh So Cosmo...Want to pick up at the bar? Then who better to ask but that sexy bartender? Josie heads to her local watering hole to test the bartender’s theories. Then, Jacqui explores the dos and don’ts of long distance relationships and finally, grace periods - how long should you wait before that second date phone call?

The worrisome part is that women choose to accept these sacred rules. That we are by law, bound to wait precisely 3 days until a man calls back after a first date….or all long distance relationships are doomed to fail, or here are the top ten reasons to suspect your man is cheating on you. We’ve all grown up with these silly guidelines. The “secrets of femininity” that we are all supposed to follow to become successful women in our relationships. If young girls can only recognize that magazines like Cosmo and their demon-child, television offspring are the sources of how we judge ourselves as women then they can make the conscious choice to disregard their polluted messages.

Messages that tell girls how to be, how to think, and how to look to become accepted in society. These messages only create a separation between those who follow the rules and those who don’t. And those that don’t become “the others.” The girls who are featured on Style by Jury as hopeless cases of fashion crimes. Who deviate from the perfect body image. Cosmo makes it seem as though we need to “fix” these women…that they are uneducated savages that need a new and superior way of life thrust upon them. Only then can they be accepted. It’s funny how far some of us will go.

CosmoTV is reminiscent of a secret girls club that you need a special password to gain access to. Maybe in order to get through the pink doors guarded by muscular, waxed men with flawless hair and skin you have to eat, breathe and live Cosmo. Only then can you truly appreciate the channel’s limitless fountain of wisdom. Either way, Cosmo’s “backstage pass to men, sex & style”, is one that I’m happy I don’t possess.