Teens get the sex-toy-shaft

Under 18 and want a dildo, but plug, or flesh light?

No dice, my friend. Despite the fact that age of consent for sexual activity in Canada is 16, sex retailers (including online shops) still bar access to anyone under 18 years old. Xtra, Toronto's gay and lesbian bi-weekly newspaper, recently covered this issue in their March 12 issue, entitled “Teens get the shaft in the struggle for sex toys.”

So why is there a double standard when it comes to teens exploring their sexuality? They can do the deed but are denied access from buying the props to enhance solo or joint pleasure.
Apparently a Metro Toronto bylaw regulates the display of pornographic images to ensure that they aren’t showcased in broad daylight for minors to see. So instead of obscuring pornographic merchandise, many stores choose to openly exhibit porn alongside toys and prevent those under 18 from entering. For sex stores, satisfying the by-law results in limited satisfaction for minors who want to explore the titillating realm of naughty playthings. The message that this sends to youth is summed up perfectly by author, Andrew Innis.

“Having sex with someone is acceptable, but exploring your own body by masturbating with anything more than your own hands is not.”

Many teens may not be satisfied by the prospect of DIY cucumber foreplay. I know I wasn’t.
I remember clearly the first time I tried entering a sex shop with a group of friends. I was the only one who got carded and dejected, forced the group to leave. I felt unfairly excluded from browsing the options of sexual play and exploring my own pleasure. Why, when teens are curious, educated and horny, should they be barred from discovering what gives them the best hot, pulsing climaxes they can have?

Not every teen is ready to get raw and intimate with their naughty bits but restricting exploration is not only discouraging to sexual comfort, it’s counterproductive.

It sends the message that teen masturbation and foreplay isn’t up for discussion and it isn’t accepted. Stifling sexuality as “inappropriate” creates feelings of shame or embarrassment in young adults who already receive a lot of contradictory messages about sex from their parents, religious institutions, school, friends and the media.

The masturbation phobia of the 18th century created a fearful and restrictive atmosphere around the concept of self pleasure. Medical professionals warned against the sinful activity that could result in anything from death to insanity, vision and hearing problems or epilepsy. Young boys were restricted from having or manipulating an erection through various preventative devices. These sure look fun.
Parents may not be placing a clitoris-cage on their daughters these days but when young women are discouraged from viewing pleasure-enhancing tools they are given the message that they shouldn’t be looking for a plastic replica to get them off because only the real thing is acceptable in their twat.

Young women would only benefit from learning more about their own anatomy and what gets them wet. In sex education as teens we are told that a penis is inserted into a vagina and he reaches satisfaction. End of story. Slam-bam-thank-you-m’am. But is that all teenage girls should expect from sex? What about their sweaty, messy, world-quaking orgasms? Why shouldn’t they be able to learn about the possibilities for pleasure that are available to them at the tip of a curved, water-proof, bead-rotating, ribbed, throbbing vibrator? As they say, practice makes perfect….
When you know what gets you off you can also communicate that sensory knowledge with your sexual partners, instead of fumbling awkwardly and engaging in possibly regrettable, unwanted or harmful experimentation. That journey to find multiple, long, mind blowing orgasms will ultimately help teens become more confident lovers because they will know what they want and what they don’t. When you become intimately acquainted with your pleasure you are more likely to communicate your likes and dislikes and less prone to allow others to prod or poke you in a way that turns you off.

Sex toys can be great teachers and for a teen who is eager and willing to learn, why not leave the doors wide open?