When she exclaimed that men need to wash those appendages between their legs, not just “WIPE THEM ON THE DRAPES!” I lost it.
That’s the kind of humor I love, and that’s what Miss Margaret Cho delivers every time. A masterpiece of sexual comedy that breaks all boundaries and double fists you into hysterics. I was privileged to witness her new tour, Beautiful, at Massey Hall in Toronto on April 4th, in a literal sea of uber-enthusiastic gay men and fag hags. It was the best crowd I’ve ever been a part of.Margaret spoke with shameless wit about the three-somes she has been in, and how there was always too much cock in the mix. Her facial expression clearly depicted how difficult it is to stuff a large quantity of dick in her mouth at once. Her face took on the expression of a shocked goldfish as she stretched her mouth wide and mimed nibbling around a giant cock like a cob of corn. The crowd went wild.
She talked with great admiration of her close relationship with the gay community, especially the bear subculture. As a renowned fag hag Miss Cho is undoubtedly an unquestionable confidante when it comes to gay men, and the men in the crowd seemed to agree with adoring shouts and laughs. She announced that bears get the most cock. They swipe at it easil
y, like trout in a frosty stream.
Describing her vagina as a conch shell that she had to bend her ear to listen to, was a moment that I personally loved. She admitted that there are still sexual experiences that she is open to trying, and spoke about sex as if it’s the pleasure mission on her never ending to-do list. Her own, hysterical personal experiences always inevitably find their way into her shows, and this was no exception. She spoke about the intimate doctor appointment that she recently underwent where her G-spot was injected with a chemical that made it swell, so it would be easier to find. It was refreshing to hear her talk about the sexual insecurities that we all have with our bodies, and that for her, the G-spot was an X on the map that she was determined to find, no matter what it took. It went from strange and comical to side-splittingly hilarious when she said that it felt like she had a jock strap on inside her. Just more cushion for the pushing, as she mimicked a fist slamming into her self repeatedly.
When she got onto the topic of anal sex, it became clear that it was one more goal she was going to conquer. She explained that for her, anal sex is like a dentist appointment. She knows that she’ll have to undergo the experience once a year, but it will be painful, as she screwed her extremely animated face into a grimace of epic proportions. She went on to say that she would have to practice some positive association with anal. For instance, whenever something good happens to her, she’ll have to insert something up there. Well that’s one way to do it.
She ended the show appropriately, with a love song to her vagina. She happily announced that it would be a tune yo
u will be forced to sing at work the next morning. Everyone eagerly sang along as the perfect evening drew to a close.
Beautiful was an appropriate name for her tour, because Margaret seems more comfortable in her skin than ever before. Her jokes reflected where she is at in her life, completely fearless, confident, and firmly aware of her own strength and beauty. She has used humor in a positive, empowering way, to call attention to the fact that no one needs to be ostracized for being who they are. Be it straight, gay, or just slutty, as she once said about herself (“Where’s my parade?”) Margaret is teaching audiences about how acceptance is a powerful thing and that sexuality and humor connect us all.
This woman speaks the truth. So listen up, and learn to love yourself. While you’re at it, explore your vagina and tell the men you know to wash their penis.
She talked with great admiration of her close relationship with the gay community, especially the bear subculture. As a renowned fag hag Miss Cho is undoubtedly an unquestionable confidante when it comes to gay men, and the men in the crowd seemed to agree with adoring shouts and laughs. She announced that bears get the most cock. They swipe at it easil
y, like trout in a frosty stream.Describing her vagina as a conch shell that she had to bend her ear to listen to, was a moment that I personally loved. She admitted that there are still sexual experiences that she is open to trying, and spoke about sex as if it’s the pleasure mission on her never ending to-do list. Her own, hysterical personal experiences always inevitably find their way into her shows, and this was no exception. She spoke about the intimate doctor appointment that she recently underwent where her G-spot was injected with a chemical that made it swell, so it would be easier to find. It was refreshing to hear her talk about the sexual insecurities that we all have with our bodies, and that for her, the G-spot was an X on the map that she was determined to find, no matter what it took. It went from strange and comical to side-splittingly hilarious when she said that it felt like she had a jock strap on inside her. Just more cushion for the pushing, as she mimicked a fist slamming into her self repeatedly.
When she got onto the topic of anal sex, it became clear that it was one more goal she was going to conquer. She explained that for her, anal sex is like a dentist appointment. She knows that she’ll have to undergo the experience once a year, but it will be painful, as she screwed her extremely animated face into a grimace of epic proportions. She went on to say that she would have to practice some positive association with anal. For instance, whenever something good happens to her, she’ll have to insert something up there. Well that’s one way to do it.
She ended the show appropriately, with a love song to her vagina. She happily announced that it would be a tune yo
u will be forced to sing at work the next morning. Everyone eagerly sang along as the perfect evening drew to a close.Beautiful was an appropriate name for her tour, because Margaret seems more comfortable in her skin than ever before. Her jokes reflected where she is at in her life, completely fearless, confident, and firmly aware of her own strength and beauty. She has used humor in a positive, empowering way, to call attention to the fact that no one needs to be ostracized for being who they are. Be it straight, gay, or just slutty, as she once said about herself (“Where’s my parade?”) Margaret is teaching audiences about how acceptance is a powerful thing and that sexuality and humor connect us all.
This woman speaks the truth. So listen up, and learn to love yourself. While you’re at it, explore your vagina and tell the men you know to wash their penis.
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