More to love...really?

Tonight I watched the premier of a new reality dating show on FOX TV that is reminiscent of “The Bachelor” only plus-size. Yep, the whole premise is that an overweight guy chooses among 15 plus size women by going on dates and on the finale of the show asks one them to be his wife. The name of this program is “More to Love.” Because there is more cushion for the pushing, get it? That just irks me to no end.

Luke is a 26-year-old real estate developer who owns his own firm and wants to find a woman to settle down with. He is a heftier guy and professes, “I’ve gotten my heart broken because of my size.” Luke happens to like larger women and claims that he wants to get to know the women he is dating for who they really are, not based on their appearance.
Now I support the idea of curvier more voluptuous women being featured in mainstream television as being able capable of experiencing romance and being accepted for their personalities but something doesn't smell right. It’s the fact that this show revolves around a heftier man who is attracted to large women and that is the sole reason they were chosen. In other words, you’re not going to see a size 14 bachelorette or contestant on the “The Bachelor” any time soon, which is a shame.

My question is, why do plus size women have to fit into their own category of television? Why are they excluded from romance in the media unless it is specified that these are “big, big” women that you are watching, got it? Not thin, but fat, and not with a ph. Apparently its not possible for men to love or be attracted to anyone who isn’t stereotypically skinny, so a curvy woman’s only hope is a reality television dating show where the bachelor is down with love handles.

As I watched the opening explanation of the premise I could almost hear a silent voiceover spewing out “these women aren’t normal and they only way they can get with this bachelor is because he has a thing for fat women.” Although it is positive to see these women in the mainstream its demeaning that there is only one reason for their exposure, almost like a freak show where audiences can come to gawp and gape at the large women who are all fighting for the only man who will have them.
It’s sad that in our society women who don’t fulfill the mainstream look of thin or petite require their own section in the clothing aisle, or are only featured in fetish porn because they aren’t seen as “normal” by the media’s standards. That’s why they have their own show, where they are corralled like cattle as their own “special need” brand of woman.

This is further established in the way these women are portrayed as they talk one-on-one with the viewers about their feelings. Along the bottom portion of the screen we see their name, city, vocation, age, height and weight. You heard me, weight. Are you freaking kidding me? First let’s put these women in the spotlight as “big” women and then let’s weigh them like farm animals, because if the premise is that a man could love them for who they are, not their size, constantly highlighting their weight really reinforces that.

What other dating show focuses in on the weight of the men or women? None, because this is a show about “fat” people, so obviously the audience needs to know how much they weigh to further ostracize them as these disgusting, pathetic creatures that we should be thankful we are not.

We even see the weight of Luke the bachelor, at 330 lbs. because remember folks, this show has already established that he isn’t normal either, because if he was slimmer he wouldn’t be on a show that showcases his love for large women. But one thing to note from a quick preview of the first episode is that this guy’s attitude towards women seems pretty admirable. He wants to get to know the personalities of these ladies and says that looks aren’t a factor for him. Whether that is actually true remains to be seen, but what I immediately wondered when I saw his weight emphasized was why the typical, muscular bachelor type couldn’t be interested in curvier women?
Would that be too strange and freaky for mainstream viewers? A stereotypically, toned, attractive guy and a girl who isn’t the size of a twig dating each other? I guess we can’t go around showing audiences that larger women can be seen as attractive to EVERYONE, because that would actually make them think that they are attractive! Then the media wouldn’t be able to keep stuffing *oops I mean selling* every Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, acai berry, diet pill, or lipo treatment down their throats.

Some of these women seem to love themselves and their bodies, for example, a blonde woman named Michelle says, “I don’t wake up everyday and say I’m going to diet and get skinnier. No I’m going to buy the clothes that fit me today and live for today” while another says “I’m ready to prove to everybody that love doesn’t have a shape or a size.”
But then there are others who suffer from a terrible lack of self esteem and have undergone a lot of judgement and pressure from the men in their past due to their size. One woman made a very sad confession that when she meets guys for the first time she still thinks, “I’m probably too fat for him. He’d probably like one of my skinny friends.”

There definitely are a some opportunities for “More to Love” to break down the stereotypes of romance and body image, but I still squirm at the thought that today the media still has to package it as a show of “fat” women pursuing love, like a warning label or a “this program may not be suitable for younger audiences” pre-show message. Taking the value of reality television, or the lack thereof out of this conversation, what I would really like to see are women of all shapes and sizes represented as people of worth who have real beauty in the media. If shows like “More to Love” are a positive step then we still have a long way to go.